Every October, schools across the nation observe Bullying Prevention Month—a time to confront one of the most persistent issues facing young people today. But for Christian schools like StoneBridge, the issue invites a much deeper response.
Upper School Vice Principal Candice Square-Miles and Senior Avery Scholes recently reflected on how the biblical worldview embraced at StoneBridge shapes the approach to confronting bullying within the student body. This approach models how to nurture both justice and mercy within the community.
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Understanding What Bullying Really Is
As a rule, bullying is much more than occasional meanness or everyday conflict. That distinction matters because the term “bullying” is often used too loosely.
“Bullying really is an aggressive interaction between two or more people that is targeted, repeated, and involves a real or perceived power differential,” Square-Miles explained. There is a difference between a child just being rude or mean versus a child exhibiting a pattern of behavior that meets the additional criteria for bullying.
In earlier generations, bullying was mainly understood as physical aggression—such as taking lunch money, making threats on the playground, or mocking a person. Today, however, technology has transformed the landscape. Social media has created new, often invisible forms of aggression.
“Now someone can send you a message. They can post things that are demeaning or disparaging to your character, and they can engage you in a way that they couldn’t before,” Square-Miles noted. “It is something that can be very discreet and even more powerful because a lot of times students are having to deal with those things in private where they may not share that this is happening in the open.”
Understanding this evolution is key to addressing the problem. Whether it happens face-to-face or through a screen, the damage to a student’s self-worth and sense of safety can be profound.
A Biblical Foundation for Kindness
Scripture lies at the heart of StoneBridge School’s approach to dealing with bullying. Ephesians 4:32 instructs believers to “be kind and compassionate to one another.” This is foundational for how students are encouraged to live in community with one another.
“When you’ve accepted Jesus Christ, you allow Him to do a new work within you,” Square-Miles said. “You become a new creation. Through His strength, you can do the hard things—like being kind when it doesn’t come naturally.”
This belief transforms bullying from a mere disciplinary task into a real discipleship moment. At StoneBridge, mentoring programs, discipleship groups, and chapels are designed to build Christ-centered relationships where both victims and aggressors can grow.
“When a student shows bullying behavior, we want to hold them accountable,” Square-Miles said. “But we also want to rally around them and guide them to live out verses like Ephesians 4:32. It’s about helping them see who God has called them to be.”
Mentorship and Community: The Heart of Prevention
Scholes, who came from a different local school three years ago, shared how the StoneBridge’s mentoring program has impacted her own experience in a positive way.
“It’s such a safe place to come forward and talk. I’ve been able to talk with my mentor about things from my old school, and it helped me heal,” she said.
That sense of safety is crucial. Many victims of bullying remain silent out of fear or shame. Fostering trusted relationships between students and mentors helps create spaces where students feel heard and supported.
“We want students to be transparent,” Square-Miles said. “If someone is being bullied, we want them to feel comfortable saying, ‘Hey, this is happening—how can I handle this?’ And for the student doing the bullying, we want to help them see that this is not what God has called them to do.”
Such support systems—mentors, teachers, and chapels—form a spiritual safety net that reminds students of who they are in Christ and how they are to treat others. Chapel services, Bible classes, and service opportunities also serve to root students in the character of Christ.
“We want our students to study Scripture as a mirror, not a magnifying glass,” Square-Miles notes. “Not pointing at others, but asking, ‘Where do I need to grow?’”
Through studying the Word and serving others, students develop empathy and humility—qualities that make bullying far less likely to take root. When students learn to “consider the interests of others above their own” (Philippians 2:4), the focus shifts from self to service.
“Serving helps students realize that life isn’t about me—it’s about shining the light of Jesus Christ,” Square-Miles said.
Discipline with Both Justice and Mercy
A uniquely biblical approach to bullying balances accountability with grace, something StoneBridge strives to achieve well.
“We hold students accountable,” Square-Miles explains, “but we don’t cast them aside. Discipline is discipleship.”
That means consequences are paired with wise counsel, mentorship, and prayer. The goal is not only to correct behavior but to transform hearts.
“We just don’t want you to have this punishment, and then there’d be no growth because we want a change in behavior,” she continued. “We want character building.”
This balance between justice and mercy mirrors the gospel itself, and a chance for both parties to find healing.
“We are all called to forgiveness,” Square-Miles said, acknowledging how hard it can be. “But Jesus forgave us when we didn’t deserve it. If He can forgive us, we can forgive others.”
That goal of forgiveness is perhaps the hardest and most complicated part of the bullying conversation. But forgiveness reflects the opportunity and power to bring healing without condoning the harm. As Scholes reflected, “The love of Christ helps you forgive and grow.”
What Students Can Do
So, what should students do if they witness bullying? Square-Miles said the answer is simple: “If you see something, say something.”
Whether that means talking to a mentor, a teacher, or another trusted adult, silence should never be the response.
“Christ calls us to step out, even when it’s uncomfortable,” she added. “You don’t have to do it alone. But don’t just stand back and do nothing.”
Scholes agreed that fear often keeps students quiet.
“You don’t want your friends to be mad or turn on you,” she admits. She added that at StoneBridge, students can feel safe reporting bullying because the staff seeks to protect their privacy and investigate every concern discreetly.
“It’s about accountability and community,” Square-Miles Miles explained. “We want students to feel safe speaking up.”
Partnering with Parents
Parents also play a critical role.
“Children tend to mirror how their parents respond,” Square-Miles observed. “When parents hear their child is being bullied—or accused of bullying—it’s natural to react emotionally. But taking a step back, listening, and partnering with teachers allows for a fuller understanding.”
Building strong relationships between parents, mentors, and administrators ensures that each situation is handled with fairness, truth, and love.
“Parent-teacher communication is vital,” she said. “We’re partners in shaping a child’s character.”
Hope for the Bully and the Bullied
Incidents of bullying may never disappear entirely within a Christian educational environment, but its power can be disarmed through community, accountability, and the transforming love of Christ.
“Bullies can change,” Square-Miles said. “They can admit their flaws, seek help, and allow Christ to renew their hearts. They don’t have to stay that way.”
In a world desperate for kindness, the call of Ephesians 4:32 rings clear: “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” When schools live that out—not just in October, but every day—they do more than prevent bullying. They reveal the heart of the gospel itself.
Featured photo: Zanyar Ibrahim, Unsplash.
