In David Kinnaman’s book Faith for Exiles, sixty-four percent of students who say they are Christian in high school will leave the faith or have their faith significantly shaken by the time they leave college. Some studies are even more daunting, finding that 70-80 percent of Christians will walk away from their faith after high school.
Indeed, this was the number one concern many StoneBridge parents had when surveyed a few years ago. So, what can be done to better ensure students press into their faith rather than run from it once they leave the safety of home and the Christian community that helped raise them? Are there practical steps parents and children can take so they’re not swayed by anti-biblical ideas in college? We asked four SBS alumni how they kept (and are keeping) their faith in college.
Liz Reese, Class of 2020 (University of Virginia)
I joined a Christian ministry with weekly small groups and weekly discipleship meetings. I also lived with Christian girls for three years. My faith has grown tremendously since being at StoneBridge, including having a daily devotional life, seeking the things of God more, and understanding the importance of having a deep relationship with Him.
The only real challenges at school are denying your flesh to not do the things the majority of people are doing. However, there is always a vast majority of people at school who have the same convictions as you, and it’s not hard to find them. If you purpose in your heart to surround yourself with Christian community, and to be honest in confession and repentance, the challenges you face at school will become extremely minimal.
In my Christian ministry, I was able to be a small group leader for three years and my primary job was to reach freshman girls and bring them into community. I believe God used that to help me with evangelism and bringing people into the family of God. I also was the president of a multicultural worship organization, and we put on performances twice a year to highlight the multi-ethnic kingdom of God. Here we were able to worship in different languages, along with dance and spoken word, to highlight how God delights in the nations and not in one specific race.
I believe that StoneBridge helped me to see the differences in how people would live in college and how it’s important to live set apart. StoneBridge also helped me with the ability to think and decide for myself based on Christian principles in most scenarios.
Josh Wingard, Class of 2017 (Liberty University)
Soon after graduating from StoneBridge in 2017, I became a “flame” at Liberty University where I would be challenged to grow in many ways I never could have anticipated. My first year as a student at LU was difficult–I struggled with my faith as I saw others around me worshiping God so fervently–something I had never experienced for myself. I realized then that while I had accumulated a lot of knowledge about God, His word, and His church, I had not developed a deep personal relationship with Him. The frustration I felt pushed me to search for answers and delve deep into discussion with my peers, mentors, and pastor. It was through this long process that I was able to ‘break through’ the monotonous and knowledge-centric life I had been living as a believer and experience the love of God in a deep and unforgettable way. While I attribute much of my spiritual foundation to my parents and time at SBS, my time at LU is when I saw real growth and (for the first time) became “on fire” for the Lord.
The greatest challenge I faced was my own pride. Due to the knowledge I had built up, I became very prideful and would often rely on this pride during “spiritual conversations.” Rather than focusing on loving people well and attempting to share the love of Christ with them, I focused on winning arguments and attempting to assert intellectual superiority–as if it was a competition. I was able to grow out of this prideful mindset largely thanks to the friends and fellow leaders that I was blessed to serve with while at Liberty.
I experienced much personal growth in this regard during my four years at Liberty, but perhaps the most growth occurred during my last three years when I was on hall leadership. As a prayer group leader (sophomore year) and an RA (junior and senior years), I was blessed to have a dedicated mentor and team of fellow leaders who regularly poured into me and encouraged me to pursue the Lord every day. This was most clearly demonstrated in my junior year RA partner, (and to this day one of my best friends) Tucker. Tucker was a brother in Christ provided by the Lord for a time of intense growth and challenge–by leading together, I was constantly challenged to rely on the Lord’s strength instead of my own, and truly walk alongside a brother as we led the hall to the best of our abilities.
As mentioned previously, I was blessed enough to be chosen for a leadership position during my last three years. During my sophomore year I was a “prayer group leader” and was responsible for facilitating discussion amongst a group of five guys on my hall (following LU’s weekly campus church service). By being honest, vulnerable, and humble with the guys entrusted to me, I was able to witness the Spirit guide conversation and bring about a true sense of accountability and camaraderie. Though my sophomore year was the beginning of my time on leadership, perhaps the most growth occurred during my junior year as an RA. I remember feeling so honored and humbled to have been selected to be an RA and oversee 80-plus guys on the hall. I prayed regularly the prior summer that God would “grow me in ways I didn’t even know I needed,” and boy, did He.
I faced many challenges, both on the hall, in personal relationships, and with my family. This was a season where God was gracious enough to allow me to speak into other people’s life–while he was actively working in mine. Something that struck me as a unique privilege accompanies with the RA position, was the built-in level of trust that (most) guys on the hall place in you. Following our first hall meeting, a few guys came up to me and began asking questions about their faith and were open and vulnerable about some of their struggles. This level of trust was not something I had earned yet, but they trusted me because of the position I held–which was something I did not take lightly. There are countless stories of faith-based conversations, discipleship moments, and even times of prayer where the Lord moved so obviously, but to recount them all would take too much time. Reflecting back now makes me wonder what I could have done to deserve those opportunities–to witness Him working in other’s lives, and in my own–but that is our God; he is gracious and kind to us even when we don’t deserve it. To this day, I am most thankful for and feel the most fondly about that year.
I believe SBS laid the foundation of knowledge that equipped me for spiritual conversations that were yet to come. Because of my study in Mrs. Carroll’s Bible class, or Mr. Garrett’s mentorship, I was able to engage with students at LU in a knowledgeable and meaningful way. I am very thankful for both SBS’s intentionality in teaching Biblical truth, and the intentionality of its teachers to pour into students. Though I didn’t fully realize it at the time (or appreciate it as much as I probably should have), SBS taught me much of what I know today in regard to the scripture and understanding who God is.
It was at SBS that I first learned the different names of God, the “Bible pantomime” taught by Mrs. Herring in 7th grade (which laid out all the major events of the Bible in chronological order), and the importance of discovering and utilizing the spiritual gifts given to each of us by God. Though I feel the bulk of my spiritual and personal growth came during my time at LU, I’m sure much of that growth was built upon the strong foundation of Biblical understanding provided by SBS. In a world that is actively degrading our faith, it is so important to have a strong foundation and to be able to not only answer “what do I believe,” but also “why do I believe it.” I truly feel SBS played a part in helping me find both of those answers.
It is interesting reflecting back on my time at SBS as a 26 year old who will (Lord willing) be having children of my own soon. As of now, I don’t know what other school I would feel comfortable sending my children to, which makes me feel all the more blessed to have gone to a school like SBS.
Peyton Riddick, Class of 2022 (Wingate University)
College has actually played a huge part of the growth of my faith! Going to a secular university, it was a big adjustment from the Christ-centered community StoneBridge provided. However, I knew from the start how important it was to find people who were passionate about Jesus as well as finding a church here that I could plug into. Luckily, I found Delight Ministries, a women’s organization that is not only a great Christ-centered community but also provided me with so many of my closest friends. Through the ups and downs of college life, out-of-state and away from all of my family, those girls have become my sisters and have held me accountable, encouraged me, and prayed alongside me over the past three years. I can confidently say that my relationship with the Lord is stronger than it ever has been and Jesus has used my college experience to strengthen and grow my faith and reliance on Him in so many ways.
One major thing that I struggled with was the realization of how fallen our world really was, specifically my generation. It is so much easier in college to second-guess what you believe and what sin is when it seems like everyone around you is so comfortable living in the sinful world. It was very important for me to lean into the Word and listen to the Holy Spirit as I faced temptation daily.
I am so blessed to see how God has used me so far at Wingate!! I have been able to pour into so many like-minded women through Delight as I am now in my second year of being one of the leaders in our chapter. We have had four women come to know the Lord this year-HUGE praise to the Lord for that! Apart from Delight, the Lord has given me the opportunity to be a vessel in my workplace as well, where I have been able to be bold in my faith and talk to many coworkers about my relationship with Jesus. I have dealt with many hardships outside of school over these past three years, but the Lord is gracious and has allowed my testimony to shine through those times and show others just how amazing His peace truly is.
I believe StoneBridge gave me confidence in talking about my faith and what the Lord is doing in my life. Being at a secular university, it can feel very daunting to be bold in Christ around your unbelieving peers. However, StoneBridge equipped me with the tools and practices to be confident in my beliefs and be able to share that with others.
Elizabeth Pluim, Class of 2023 (Randolph-Macon College)
Before leaving for my first year at Randolph-Macon, I began to do research on churches in that area. I made a list of a few churches that I wanted to visit and the first Sunday I was at school, I began my hunt for a new church. After visiting a few, I landed on Heights Church in Richmond. I quickly became involved in several aspects of the church with volunteering and small groups.
Outside of church services and friends, I do a devotional every day and spend time in prayer with God. Because I had built those habits in middle and high school, it was not that hard to carry them over to college. My faith has always been extremely important to me, and I was not willing to allow that to fade just because I was leaving my parents’ house. I knew that I would have to fight for it and because I made that commitment before I left for school, I feel that I am closer to God because of it. I was encouraged by family, friends, and mentors before leaving to keep the faith in college and live out God’s plan for me so I resolved to do just that. Yes, there have been hardships and stumbling blocks, but through it all, I can look back and see God’s goodness and steadfastness in my life.
Randolph-Macon is not a Christian school, I knew that coming in, and I recognized that I was going to be faced with things that I did not agree with. As the year began, I was faced with an onslaught of heavy cursing, news of parties and drinking on weekends, and beliefs that I did not agree with. It was a culture shock for me, but I refused to join any cussing, go to any parties, and I remained steadfast in my beliefs. Cussing became the hardest stumbling block to avoid. I was surrounded by it 24/7 and I became numb to hearing the words. However, I felt deeply convicted never to curse and I knew that I would only feel extreme guilt if I participated in it. So, I have had to work harder in steeling my mind against any cussing and being extremely careful in my thoughts and words. In my daily prayers, I pray and ask God for strength. It can still be difficult at times but leaning on God for His guidance has been the best decision I could have made in avoiding the challenges I have faced at school.
Though I now go to a secular school, I think I am closer to God than I have ever been. It was very difficult at first going to church without friends but as I built relationships, I decided to reach out and invite them to church. I invited my roommate and a few friends to church during our freshman year, but it wasn’t until April when one of my friends took me up on it. She began going with me regularly and then when we went on summer break and were both at home, she texted me to let me know that she had been driving the 45 minutes from her hometown to continue going to Heights Church. I was so happy for her and after everyone returned for our sophomore year, my roommate from the previous year asked if she could come as well. Soon enough there was a group of four of us going to church.
That November, one of my friends asked if I could pray with her about baptism. I remember just thanking God for His goodness and faithfulness in her life at that moment. A few weeks later, she was baptized and her whole family came down for the celebration. That Sunday, I remembered looking around at my friends, as we all celebrated our friend who had just given her life to Christ. I just praised God with everything I had for His plan in my life. I now have a group of amazing friends who are learning and growing in their faith, and I have the privilege to be there beside them, which in turn has strengthened my faith. When I first chose to attend RMC, I wasn’t sure why God wanted me there, but I knew that that was where He wanted me. Now I can look back and plainly see why God placed me at RMC; He worked through me to bring people to Him.
I believe with all my heart that almost every aspect of my time at StoneBridge prepared me for life at college. I was taught to find God in everything and to seek His plan for my life through everything. I came into my college classes with some professors teaching the theory that life came from nothing and at the forefront of my mind, all I could think about was Job 33:4: “The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life.” This verse was said in a chapel during my junior year at SBS and I have clung to it whenever the opposite was taught in my classes.
I knew going into my college career that I would be faced with opposition and people who disagreed with my beliefs but because of what I was taught at StoneBridge, I did not feel scared or challenged by this. At SBS, we were taught to be knowledgeable in the Scriptures and always have an answer for someone. Now, when I hear something that is against the Bible, I can almost always think of a verse or principle from the Bible that states the truth. At SBS, we were allowed and encouraged to express our beliefs and have conversations with our peers and teachers about it; those experiences have truly aided me now because I have the skill to talk with people who may not hold my beliefs and to show Jesus to them through the way I conduct myself. I truly do not know where I would be today if it were not for StoneBridge coming alongside my parents in the preparation and strengthening of my spiritual life.
